Baby Care & Nursing

The First Weeks Of Life:

Google+

Nothing can really prepare you for the reality of having a child.The first weeks of your baby's life can seem like a chaotic whirlwind of new experiences and sensations,as you get to know this new person in your lives,and adapt to the feeling of being a parent.You have so much to learn:how to feed and nourish your baby,how to dress her and care for her skin,what her likes and what her doesn't like.Looking after a new baby involves a combinations of warmth,attention and responsiveness,and although some of this will be instinctive,some has to be learnt new-by both of you.You'll learn new skills too:before long eating one handed while your baby feeds will be your second nature.But the early phase of adjustment and chaos won't last long.This chapter tells how one couple and their new baby coped in the first few weeks.Every baby is different,and you will find your own way of getting through the first weeks of life.

First days at home:

Life with your new baby will take you by surprise.Her apparent vulnarebility produces new,powerful feelings within you,while a turmoil of emotions makes you burst into tears for no reason,or become distressed by,say,the television news.Don't fight your feelings;concentrate on the new life that you are nurturing.

Becoming a Family:

Now there are three of you,and everything changes.Your partner is no longer your lover,he's your companion and ally in this new adventure of parenthood-and she's as much his baby as yours.Your tried and tested family relationships will subtly change too;you're not a son or a daughter any more,you're parent,with a new life depending on you.No matter how topsy-turvy your life seems at that time,try to make time for your partner.Often it is the new father who is most shell-shocked in the days immediately following the birth,and he needs your support as much as you need his.Let him share in the care of your baby;he may be more nervous than you handling the baby's floppy little body,but he will soon grow more confident.

Building A Loving Relationship:

Right from the beginning your relationship with your new born baby is intense,two-way one that will grow into a real and lasting love.As you bring your baby up close to your talk and coo,  your baby will gaze reply at your face and eye contact plays a big part when you are falling in love.Your baby will reward your efforts to calm her by quietening at the sound of your voice when you sing and talk to her.And he or she's miserable your baby wants you to comfort him or her.

Involving Other Family Members:

Your parents,sisters and brothers will be keen to meet the new baby:but don't feel guilty about limiting visitors if you want to.

Getting Plenty Of Rest:

Every new mother has to learn to cope with too little sleep.Plenty of rest whenever you can snatch it is only answer-and it's especially important if you're breast feeding.Rest whenever you baby sleeps,even if you don't sleep.Your body isn't strong enough yet for srenuous work,and the housework can go undone for now.

Premature Babies:

Your baby's first six weeks at home be difficult if he or she born prematurely.Your baby may cry incessantly and refuse to be comforted;or be very sleepy and reluctant to feed.In addition to your natural anxiety about your baby you may feel rejected by her or him:your baby doesn't make you feel as if he or she loves you,so it's that much harder to love your baby in return.Your pre term baby will need extra care from you;she or he loses heat quickly,so you need to keep your home warm for your baby,especially when bathing or changing and your baby will need frequent feeding to help him or her grow.Even though your baby may have a small appetite and be a trouble-some feeder,offer him or her a feed as often as every three hours,letting your baby take as much as he or she wants at each feed.concentrate on giving the care your baby needs:in time your baby will grow more responsive to you and you will learn to understand your baby better.

Handling Your Baby:

 From an early age your baby needs closeness and comfort,warmth and sleep.To begin with,you will probably feel quite nervous about handling and cuddling him or her;your hands seems so clumsy,his limbs so floppy,his head and neck so fragile.Your normal careful handling wont hurt him;even the soft fontanelle on the top of his head has a tough membrane to protect it.But you may startle him if you pick your baby up suddenly,making him fling his limbs out or frighten him if he thinks he will fall.It wont be long before you're both much more confident of each other.As your baby gains control over his muscles,he may enjoy some boisterous games-at four or five months he may love to be swung up above your head or perched high on your shoulders.If he's timid-and some babies are-handle him gently until he is more outgoing.Respond to your baby's moods and let him set the pace of your physical play.

Its very important to talk to your baby as you transfer one position to another-your voice is familiar and reassuring.Remember that until he or she about eight weeks old your baby can not control its muscles.You need to support your baby's body all the time,so that her or his head doesn't flop or limbs dangle.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE LITTLE GIRLS GONE

Ancient prejudices against females persist.As a result,the population balance in many Asian countries is showing an alarming swing towards male.

Mother of two girls Toddlers,27-year-old Mira ekes out a living as a maid in the homes of well-to-do Mumbayites. Once when her husband,a factory worker,was drunk,he threatened to throw her out of their home if she bore another daughter.So when he become pregnant again,Mira was panic-stricken.What if the child growing inside her was yet another female?She decided to find out.

Mira scraped some money together and went to a hospital to take the gender test.The results showed that the foetus was female.She told her husband that the doctors had recommended an abortion because she was too weak to carry a third child to full term.Her husband was disappointed initially but finally agreed to take her for an abortion.

In Seoul,South Korea,a women who prefers to be known only as "Nayoung's mother"tells a similar tale.A college graduate with two young daughters,she too was under intense family pressure to bear a son.Pregnant again,she decided to find out sex of her foetus.An ultrasound examination indicated another daughter was on the way.Although she was in her sixth month,an advanced stage of pregnancy when termination is dangerous,the disappointed woman went ahead with an abortion.

Craving for boys:

Ordinarily,the first lusty cry of her new born baby is a joyous moment for a mother.But in many parts of Asia,maternal feelings are often directly related to the sex of the infant.Centuries-old prejudices against female children persist as tenaciously in the Confucian societies of China and South Korea as in several communities in India,Pakistan and Malaysia.

The bias continues despite brisk economic development,growing technological sophistication and rising standards of living.In countless hospital across Asia,anxious women like Mira and "Nayoung's mother" request various medical tests to discover the sex of the child in their womb.For many,if it proves to be female,the next step will be an abortion.

In the early 1970 s,enterprising doctors in Punjab discovered the commercial possibilities in this craving for boys.An amniocentesis examination,a pre-natal test usually administered to detect foetal abnormalities,had a lucrative by product:it could be reveal the sex of an unborn baby with 97% accuracy.Soon hundreds of private clinics offering gender-testing sprang up,predominantly in the northern states.(IT IS COMPLETELY BANNED TODAY AND LEGALLY PUNISHABLE)

To administer the test,doctors extract about 20cc of amniotic fluid from the foetal sac of a woman,four months pregnant,using a fine,hollow needle inserted through the abdomen.Foetal cells are separated from the fluid and allowed to multiply in a tissue culture for about three weeks for eventual chromosomal analysis.By then,the women is usually 20 weeks into her pregnancy.

In recent years,new pre-natal tests have been gaining popularity.Chorion villus biopsy yields a result in several days and can be done in early pregnancy.The outermost embryonic membrane or chorion develops finger-like projections or villi.Between the seventh and the ninth weeks of pregnancy,samples of chorion villi are obtained through the vagina and cervix and can be examined immediately for genetic defects and gender.

Another relatively safe and alternative is ultra sonography,which uses inaudible sound-waves to project a visual image of the foetus on a screen.This method is commonly employed to assess foetal age or detect defects.Provided the plane of scan is correct,it can also reveal sex if external male genitalia have begun forming.Sex detection by this method ,therefore,is possible only in advanced pregnancy.

Heinous Crime:

In China,which together with India accounts for almost two-fifths of the world's population,abortion is not only legal but unofficially condoned as an effective instrument of birth control.But here,where since 1979 a rigorous one-child policy has been in force,the desire for male offspring is especially strong.As a consequence,the government strictly forbids pre-natal sex testing and female infanticide is considered a heinous crime.Yet many question the system's efficiency in catching baby-killers.Critics say local family planning officials are often given bonuses for maintaining "birth quotas",and they keep quiet about infanticide.

Some baby girls are abandoned in caves or trussed  up in sacks and thrown into a river.Others are dumped in garbage bins,forced to swallow lethal insecticide or packed in cardboard boxes and left to die in fields.

According to People's Daily newspaper,more than 40 baby girl born to one production team alone were drowned between 1980 and 1981 in nothern Anthui Province.In two countries of southern Guangdong Province,revealed the Nangfang Daily,some 200 female infants were killed in 1982.In some instances a bucket of water was placed near the mother's bed,said the report.If the new born was a girl,she was immediately drowned.

The Chinese government doesn't publish statistics on female infanticide.But one of the factor that  prompted the US govt. in 1985 to begin holding back millions of dollars in aid to the UN Fund for Population Activities was the suspicion that China's stringent population policy was responsible for widespread infanticide.For its part,China has denied that the practice is rampant,saying that the United States has made "a mountain out of a molehill."

Unheard Of:

Statistic compiled by Korean Economic Planning Board in 1985 revealed that among children under the age of four,boys outnumbered girls by 108.1 to 100.The prevalence of gender testing and the increasing abortions of female foetuses,prompted the Korean Medical Association to impose in February 1986 a self-regulatory ban on the practice of sex determination.None the less,it is commonly understood in Korea that clandestine tests and abortions are available-at the right price.

Old prejudices linger on even in affluent Hong Kong.According to a leading Hong Kong Gynaecologist,many local parents would not settle for an all-girl family,though they would like at least one daughter.Pre-natal sex-testing is legal,but medical profession is bound by strong ethical standards that restrict passing on gender information to parents.Although for every 4.5 births in Hong Kong in 1986 one legal abortion and many illegal ones were performed,cases of women aborting foetuses because they are female are practically unheard of.

Education and high living standards seem to have blunted the discrimination against girls in Japan and Singapore.Amniocentesis was introduced in Japan in the late 1960s but has been little abused,and female foeticide is almost unheard of.

Can laws alter social attitudes?

South Korea is trying a softer approach to the problem.In a popular TV commercial,a middle class couple announce that they will have only one child.The camera then pans to a little girl besides them,blowing out the candles on her birthday cake.However,more needs to be done if Koreans are to give up their preferences for boys.Women,s groups have long lobbied for changes to the country's heavily Confucian Family Law,which they say reinforces prejudices against women.

Changing cultural patterns in not easy.But there are those who foresee a day when,as a result of social education and strong laws,Asia's multicultural societies will be truly balanced,sexually equal communities where females are no longer the unwanted sex.The alternative is grim.

MY SON,MY TEACHER

Sometimes,learning is a two-way street

I remember once hearing a myth about a little boy whose father gave him a baby calf.The boy was instructed to feed and clean the calf,and then to lift it over his head once every day.As the child grew, so did the calf,and the boy was lifting another half-kilo or so each day.By the time he was 15,the young man was able to lift a kicking,full-grown bull.

There has been a similar story in my own life-something my son did for me and  that your kids are probably doing for you,whether you know it or not.



Ads:
Free online money making journal-a complete guide

One day I was playing tennis with Rann,my ten-year-old son.Ever since he was five,Rann had been my only tennis partner.Playing on the next court was a bunch of kids,members of a local tennis team.Their coach approached me as I picked up some stray balls."Your son really hits well,"the man said.

Realizing that Rann was  not only being complimented but also being recruited,I let the guy down easy."We're just visiting here,"I said.

"Shame," he responded.

I told Rann about the coach's comments on the drive back to his aunt and uncle's house.But I was curious about what exactly the coach had seen in Rann's game.

For the past few years,Rann had been telling me about his rapid progress in school tennis.He would report he'd moved ahead of this guy.But I let it all go in one ear and out the other because,to tell you the truth,I really hadn't seen much improvement.Oh,he was making far fewer errors,and he certainly was hitting the ball ball harder;but how could Rann have been getting so much better if his old man kept beating him?

You see,I've always believed that it's the ultimate insult to compete against someone anything less than your best.And so,when Rann was five,although i never smashed the ball at his feet,I didn't throw games to him either.He had the measure himself by how well he played,not by whether he won or lost.The fact is,at the time of the out-of-town match,he'd never beaten me.

Then,after we returned home,a strange thing happened.An old friend came to town and invited me for a tennis game.This guy used to beat me regularly.When I asked if he'd kept up his game,he smiled and said,"Every day of the year."

I won't bore you with the details of my spectacular demolition of this fellow.Suffice it to say,it surprised us both.

Then,in the taxi home,I figured it out.It was Rann!As his tennis had improved,so had my own.Like the boy with the calf that got heavier every morning. Rann had got better each time out.And like the boy who lifted the calf,I had lifted my own increasing burden.

Rann was forcing me to cultivate my own abilities-to discover new strenght and new resolve.He was teaching me that I could work harder,strech further,go longer.And he was doing this in increments so small I never realized it. 

I bet your kids are doing this.In a thousand ways you never even thought about,they're making you pick yourself up a notch.They work on the quality of your caring and composure.They teach you when to surrender,when to hold firm.

I saw it in tennis,but it's happening in every phase of our lives.While you're teaching and nursuring your children,they're expanding you,sharpening you,polishing you,making you better tennis players,better parents-and better people.

How to help your children learn

After decades of telling parents to keep their hands off school subjects,many American teachers are now asking for help-a development that parents in all over may well defined

>

When his two sons came from school with low marks in mathematics,a New York father discovered that his bright ten and eleven year olds never learnt their multiplication tables."So I made up cards bearing numbers and told them no television until they learnt," he recalls."They protested-but in three days,they knew the multiplication tables."

Ads 

:Instantly Improve AutismSecret, easy techniques proven to work over 20 years revealed for Free:

This father is not a critic of school teachers,but one of their leading spokesmen:Albert Shanker, president of the American Federation of Teachers.Yet as a parent he realized that he,rather than school,was ultimately responsible for his children's education.If somehow they missed learning a basic tool like multiplication tables,he'd have to make up for it at home.If a child can't multiply-or add,or read-his problems will compound.Certain fundamental skills are building-blocks for later work.

The important thing,says Shanker,is to make sure each child acquires basic reading,mathematical and writing skills by the age of nine.

After decades of telling parents to keep their hands off school subjects,many US teachers are now begging parents for help,"We recognize that when parents help,children learn immeasurably better,"says Larry Cuban,superintendent of the Arlington,USA,state schools.

One reason for the change is that the value of parental support has been demonstrated by dozens of studies.In 1966 the US Office of Education showed that the home and family background have more influence on achievement than the school.Psychologist like Chicago's Benjamine Bloom concluded that intelligence is malleable in early life.Parental attention can help raise a child's I.Q.

Word of such studies encouraged millions to stimulate their pre-school children,beginning with mobiles over cots and continuing with bedtime reading and educational toys for toddlers.But most parents hesitated to "interfere" with work after their children began school.

Today teacher attitudes have changed."The old idea that children might be confused by their parents' instruction because the school uses different methods,"says Shanker,"no longer applies."

Encourage by the green light from educators,many parents have plunged back into at-home education.One family I know keep a microscope in the playroom and a globe in the dining -room.At dinner they discussed the day's news or what everyone's been reading,and the children are expected to talk in complete sentences.Not surprisingly,the children do well in school.

How much parents can help depends on temperament,time and inclination.Those who want to help can follow these simple tips:

Ads:

Your Child Misses a GOLDEN Opportunity, If You Do Not Teach Your Child to Read Now

Provide time,place and support:

Parents should set aside a time for their youngsters to study a period sheltered from television,video games,record playing and other distractions.Even younger children who don't yet have homework should have a regular reading time.

How much actual help should parents give with homework?"You shouldn't do your children's home work for them," emphasizes Maryland's state superintendent of schools."But it helps if you are willing to talk about an assignment or to look at it when it's done."Just seeing that it's done is important.

Help teach basic operations:
Parents can teach specific building-block skills such as multiplication tables or vocabulary. Quarterfield Elementary School in Severn,USA,is one of the schools that use a special language
development programme.Parents of Quarterfield students in the first year of school get a printed "assignment" every day telling them what new letter  has been studied in the class that day.They are asked to work with their youngsters on that letter at night.As soon as the children can read,they start taking books home to read aloud to their parents.The parent send  in a report to the school each time the child completes a book.Children get "addicted" to all this attention-and on books.

Monitor school performance:

Don't wait for teachers to ask for your help.Watch out for slip-ups and intervene strategically if they occur.Until recently this was hard to do,for there was a little agreement about what should be learnt by what age.But with the new concern about minimum competency tests before leaving school-a concern that arose because so many school leavers could neither read nor write nor do maths-standards have began to emerge.In Virginia,for example,one local department of education has its own list of minimum skills.By the end of second year in primary school,its pupil should be able to identify the main idea of a short piece read to them.By the end of next year,pupils should "demonstrate a knowledge of basic multiplication of five times nine."

Keep on stimulating them:
No amount of early-childhood stimulation can guard the television generation against school failure later on.Parents who hung mobile over cots must continue working with their children.

Since 1964,Dorothy Rich,Director of pioneering Home and School Institute at Trinity College in Washington,has been waging a campaign for home-based teaching,which she hopes will expand into a national crusade.She has published four books filled with "recipes" for continued home stimulation of school-age children.

Ask your child,for instance,to check the meter at a petrol pump and calculate the cost of 20 litres.To help his writing,encourage your child to write notes and cards to grandparents and friends,and to make shopping lists.Assist ability to make judgements by asking your child why he likes a story,a room or someone's behaviour.

"SCHOOLS HAVE A LIMITED CAPACITY FOR HELPING CHILDREN ACHIEVE SUCCESS," says Dorothy Rich."If you want  them to cope in modern society,you'd better keep working with them yourself.In addition to hundreds of testimonials she has received from parents,she can point a study done by her institute in 1974-75 with eight classes of primary school children in Washington.For 16 weeks the teachers sent home one "learning recipe"  every two weeks and asked parents to use it.At the end of the year,the reading level of children in the 89 families that use the recipes had shot up dramatically.

Home education is a continuing commitment,a responsibility that does not the end when school begins.It may take time and effort,but it's a solid investment in your child's future.

how to make your child a winner

Developing the right attitude,character and strategy is the key to performance-and its never too early to start.

Your 11 year old daughter is about to perform her arangetram. She's keyed up,and you're afraid she'll make mistakes.Yet as soon as her guru gives her the signal,she begins to dance,poised and confident.Every mudra and abhinaya is perfect.

Your 17 year old son is appearing for the Indian Institute of Technology's joint entrance exam.You drop him off at the exam centre and then go home to worry.But when he returns,he's relaxed and satisfied.While other students panicked,he worked his way quickly and methodically through the questions.The result: a high rank in the merit list that assures him both of admission to the IIT of his choice as well as his chosen subject.

Peak performances-moments when children achieve the best that's in them-are the stuff of every parent's dream.And yet most of us have seen a report card or a dance performance that falls short of what our kids can accomplish.

Ads:

Why can some boys and girls repeatedly perform at their peak,while others of equal or superior ability cannot?Many parents assume skill is very much determined by natural ability:the student with the highest IQ will get the best grades,or the athlete with the most prowess will surpass his team-mates.

I've learned otherwise.Genes count in determining performance,but they're not everything.The edge comes from mental attitude,character and strategy.And I've discovered some simple ways for parents to help their youngsters develop those traits:

Find something to praise:

A student asked a group of  world class athletes to identify the primary influences on their early careers.Ninety-five percent gave the same answer:MY PARENT'S SUPPORT. 

A CHILD WHO FEELS GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF SUCCEEDS. Nurturing that self-esteem is the central element of inspiring a child to peak performance,and you can't start too early.I love to watch my colleague making her two-nd-a-half year old feel successful.'Tommy,"she'll say,"see if you can pick up three toys,One-that is very good.Two-good job!Three!Good!"And she'll applaud and hug him.Some people would say,"That's so trivial."But you build self-esteem in tiny bits,one after another.

It isn't easy to praise your son when his team has just lost an inter-school soccer match and he missed two easy shots at the goal.But you cn try something like this:"Those were easy goals you missed but you dribbled well.ext time aim at the far post and you'll get the ball in."

Teach Don't Blame:

Unfortunately,if you could tape parents' comments on a child's performance,you'd probably find a high percentage of negative remarks.Worse,the criticisms may be accompanied by put downs-"You're so dumb!" "Why can't you get this through your head?" "God you're clumsy!"

If you keep telling your son something's wrong with him,sooner or later he'll believe it.Criticize the behaviour,not the child.Follow every "That's wrong!" by explaining what's right."Don't use your instep for a powerful shot at the goal"should have the follow-up "bend your body forward,and kick with the top of your foot."

Always leave your son knowing what you want him to do,not what you don't want to do.The last thing said to a person before a moment of trial is what he'll remember.That thought should inspire positive action.

Asses your child's strenghts:

Too often we try to mould our kids into what we want them to like be,rather than listening to their own opinions and self-assessments.The first thing I asked a boy or a girl is,"what do you like to do?what's fun for you?what are you good at?"I'm not looking for a recitation of trophies won or achievements recorded,but simpler answers,things the kid takes pride in:"I can run fast.""I'm good at science.""I like to sing."

Sometimes kid's answers carry clues to abilities we hadn't suspected.The boy who tells you proudly he can balance on one foot may never be a first-rate crickter,but,given the opportunity,he may be a first-rate soccer player.

Ads:

Your child needs to learn to stop their anxiety BEFORE it starts and develop a NEW WAY of responding – permanently.

Encourage self-applause:

Suppose your daughter is about to accompany the school choir on her guitar.She's scared,but you can help her build a feeling of success.Break the performance down into steps.The first step is to take the guitar out of the case."Can you do that?" Yes.(Good work!") Second step is to tune the guitar."I can do that."(Good!").Third step is to make sure her music book is opened to the right page.By the time she strums the first chords,she'll already have a record of successes,and the last obstacle may not seem insurmountable after all.

Taking positively to yourself about yourself reinforces self-image,which in turn improves performance.Better performance causes more self-praise,which triggers further improvementt."I'm really playing well today"becomes "I'm a good guitar player.

Teach you child to relax:

Knowing how to relax is the key to peak a performance.When you're relaxed,your mind is clearer,and your body can function at its greatest efficiency.

Start with your son's breathing.Show him what happens in a deep breath."See how your tummy flattens,then pushes out again?That's where you really breathe from.Be aware of how to breathe deeply,to feel the breathe as he takes it in.

Step two is to find a single thought that puts him in a relaxed mood.The cue can be thinking of a strain of music,imagining the feel of warm sand on the beach or a breeze riffling through the leaves.Teach him to focus only on that idea until he feels calm.A relaxed mood helps to set aside distractions and zero in on the task ahead.

Concentrate,concentrate:

Parents often complain they can't keep their kid's attention for more than a few seconds.Yet the same kids play hand-held video games for hours.

You can sharpen your daughter's ability to concentrate with little drills.For a very young child,sing a song and ask her to listen closely to the lyrics.Then question her about what she's heard.Have an older child scan a page of numbers;then take the page away."What numbers do you remember from the top row?"

Rehearse-mentally:

A well-known dancer says she mentally rehearses part of her dance routine movement by movement.She "feels" her arm movements.She "hears" the beat of the music.

Since kids have vivid imaginations,they take readily to visualisation.Before an exam,urge your child to study hard and then create a mental motion picture of the whole test,from the instant the class bell rings until students are told to lay down their pencils.After several such visualizations,the test itself will seem routine.

Remind your child of success:

A good school report card posted where your daughter will see it reminds her that she can do well-and reinforces the urge to repeat her success.But don't confine yourself to past triumphs.Inspire your child to additional success with picture of awards or certificates yet to be won.Add messages of encouragement:"You did it last year!Do it again this year!"

Set steps to a goal:

Suppose your son sets a goal of 100 percent in the mathematics.Draw a flight of steps with the drawing in a prominent place.The first step might be "Be attentive in class."The second could be "Clarify all doubts with the teacher."The third:"Solve lots of mathematical problems."

If your son misses one step,that doesn't mean the goal is lost.He simply reverts to the step before and moves forward again.It's important,too,that goals be "100 percent in mathematics," not "higher marks than Rahul Singh."

Some parents try to goad their kids with bribes,guilt or fear.All fail.Your daughter  may be delighted to receive a reward of Rs.50 for standing first class.But it's the recognition,not the money that pleases her.fear gets results-temporarily.Put a pistol to my head and my first thought is revenge,not better performance.

There are no short cuts to bringing your child to do his best.It's a gradual process of support,encouragement and hard work.And those efforts pay off not only in peak performance but in closer,warmer relations between parent and child.